SIGNS OF LIFE

English sign in German cafe: "Mothers, Please Wash Your Hans Before Eating"

On a scientist's door: "Gone Fission"

Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people"

On a music teacher's door: "Out Chopin"

On the door of a music library: "Bach in a minuet"

At a farmer's field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges"

In a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels"

On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog"

Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action"

On maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push"

Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome - dog food is expensive"

Muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place"