SIGNS IN KITCHEN

~ If you don't like my cooking, lower your standards.

~ This is a self-cleaning kitchen - you use it, you clean it yourself.

~ There are two choices for supper in this kitchen - take it or leave it.

~ Don't criticize the coffee. You may be old and weak yourself someday.

~ Kitchen closed due to illness...I'm sick of cooking!

Have you ever noticed that when people say, "To make a long story short ..." it's too late?