THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED:

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The nextyear, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't usedthe gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started...
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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her andsaid, 'Do you want to have some "quality time" ?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that yourfinal answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd liketo phone a friend.' And that's when the fight started...
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have thestrip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she canorder for herself.' And that's when the fight started....
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started...
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want somethingshiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started...
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunkenman swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, 'Do you know! him?' ' Yes,''He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many yearsago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' I said, 'Who would think a person could goon celebrating that long?' And then the fight started...
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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other drivergot out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seemfunny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked upat me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which oneare you?' And then the fight started....
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THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, - the truck, the car, playing golf.Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. WhenI arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pairof sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was goneonly a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finishcutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.' The doctors say I will walk again, but Iwill always have a limp.